Recently, I was in conversation with a friend and she mentioned a very wise man I know and said, "He's so in his head." This shocked me, as I have always seen this man as being a very Heart-centered person. I asked her what she meant by this and she said, "He is always talking about ideas rather than feelings". And I suddenly realised that there is a great misconception out there about what it means to be 'in your Heart.'
Being in your Heart does NOT simply mean feeling your emotions nor does it simple mean talking about your emotions. Although, of course, that can be a component of it for some people. Being in your Heart means being connected to a deeper part of yourself than the disconnected mind. By the 'disconnected mind', I mean the thinking mind that is cut off from the Infinite Knowing of All That Is.
Sure, many people who talk about ideas are coming from their disconnected mind, rather than being connected to a deeper part of themselves. But what is less known is that many people who talk about their feelings are also coming from the disconnected mind, for their emotions are rising up in reaction to a story of their disconnected mind. Indeed, a person can be speaking for hours about their emotions in a stream of pain and sadness, but if they are simply in reaction to the stories of their head, they are not connected to their Heart at all.
When we are truly in our Heart, we are connected to something deeper than the disconnected mind or the emotions that it stirs up. We are connected to our body wisdom. We are connected to the Love that we truly are. We are in a place of peace and joy, able to access truth and wisdom and truer, deeper feelings than highly-charged emotional reactions. Therefore the indication of whether a person is coming from their 'head' or their 'heart' is not whether they are talking about feelings or ideas. It is about the quality of connectedness they are bringing to the interaction, the connection they have to their body and to the listener and to Love.
It is important to understand that how a person expresses being 'in their Heart' will look very different depending on their personality type. When a highly sensory person at Circle (an 'S' type in the Myers-Briggs personality system) is in their Heart, they will tend to speak of their feelings and body sensations, without being in reaction to the stories of the disconnected mind. When a highly intuitive person (an 'N' type in the Myers-Briggs system) at Circle is in their Heart, they will tend to speak of ideas and awarenesses that are coming from the deep knowing of their body, rather than the stories and speculations of the disconnected mind. Instead of being simply 'emotional', the highly S person who tends towards feelings will be deeply loving and compassionate when in their Heart. Instead of being simply 'intellectual', the highly N person who tends towards ideas will be deeply wise and perceptive when in their Heart.
So do not think that just because someone is speaking to you about abstract concepts that this means they are not in their Heart. This is a very common misconception by S types and it is truly dishonouring to all the N types out there at Circle and beyond who are very Heart-centered. Indeed, some of the most Heart-centered people I know are highly N. They are brilliant, visionary, conceptual thinkers, who come from such a place of love and compassion and truth when they speak their ideas, from such a place of Heart, that if you are open to receiving their wisdom, you will find your life transformed.
～ by Tahnee Woolf ～
co-creator of the Ten Terrains Of Consciousness
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